Changes

UGH

What do I do???????? 

I love you Paul, I love you. :( Why can’t you treat me the way I’m supposed to be treated? Why can’t you be the one? Why? Why? Why? Why does it have to be this way? Why can’t you appreciate me for who I am now? Why can’t you love me for the person inside? Why can’t you see me the way I see you? Why do I always fall for the wrong person? Why the fuck does this happen to me? 

You say you love me, but deep down in my heart I know you don’t. You’re always pointing out my flaws and things you want to change. You’re always talking about who I’ll become, but you never love the person I am now. You love the idea of molding me into someone you could be with, but why don’t you take me as I am? Why can’t you see the girl standing here who loves and embraces you wholeheartedly? I would do anything for you Paul, I would swim across oceans to see your face. I would fight and fight my whole life for your happiness. 

… But I can’t allow myself to do that when I have doubts in my heart about how you feel about me. I’m begging you to love me the way I love you. Please. :(

Do you tend to make things complicated?
Yes. -_-

Are you texting anyone?
Nope.

Last time you had pizza?
Hmmm a few days ago. Maybe a week ago.

Who was the first person you talked to today?
Poop head brother. 

Would you hug the last person you hugged again?
Yes. 

Who is the last person who wrote a note to you?
lol uhh I don’t know.

Do you have to check in with your parents before you go some place?
Yes and it’s annoying as fuck. I’m 19 in college and my mom still bothers me about where I’m going. lol Ah well.

Are you excited for anything?
Yes! :)

Have you ever passed out/fainted?
No.

Do you believe in 11:11?
No. 

Have you ever liked someone that you knew you couldn’t have?
Yep.

New phone or new computer?
New phone please.

Are all guys players and cheaters?
Noooooope.

Have you ever laid on a couch with someone?

Yes.

Have you ever made out with someone you weren’t dating?
Um, yeah. Buahahaha

If you could pack up and move away right now, would you?
Not yet.

Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
I could. 

When was the last time someone said to you, “you made my day/night”
Dunno.

Are you easy to get along with?
I think so. Haha probably not. I’m so shy sometimes. :x

Do you smile a lot?
I smile when I feel like it. I don’t know if that’s a lot though.

Are you short?
Nope, average.

Have you ever been kissed on the cheek?
Yes. :)

Are you wearing a necklace?
No.

Who are you expecting a call from?
Paul, maybe … but he may just show up at my house without any notice. 

Do you have any homework to do?
No.

Does anyone like you?
lol I’d hope my boyfriend likes me. 

Have you ever dated a football player?
No.

Are you afraid of roller coasters?
Yes, but that’s what makes it fun. :D 

Do you know any songs that remind you of last summer?
Yeah.

How old are you?
19.

How many pets do you have?
0. :(

Single or Taken?
Taken.

Do you get mad at people who don’t use good grammar?
I don’t get mad, sometimes it will irritate me if I’m in a bad mood already. 

Do you like to be alone?
Yes, I need my alone time. 

Favorite social networking site?
Bleh.

Do you listen to rap?
I listen to everything.

 Do you get high everyday?
lmao nah.

Who’s your last missed call?
Chris.

What would be the first thing you would do with 100,000 dollars?
Get a caaaaaarrrrrrrrr. <3

Do you think age matters in relationships?
It depends.

Are promises important to you?
Yes.

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
Yep.

If you could have anything in the world, what would you want?
To be able to move to Boston with Paul, go to school, work, and have a happy life together. :) 

Ever given your all to someone who fucked you over?
Yes. 

Who did you last cry in front of?
I don’t even know.

Have you ever held hands with someone in a car?
Yes. <333333

Shit happens, life goes on?
Everyone should live by that.

Your ex says leaving you was a mistake, you say?
Sucks for you!

Can you touch your toes?
Yes.

Have you ever been hit in the face and there was a mark left behind?
lmfao nnnnoooo not that I remember.

This past November, what was your love life like?
It started turning around.

How did you get your last bruise?
Poop.

Do you still live with your parents?
Yes. FOR NOW. >:)

Would you consider yourself heartless?
I can be. But usually when I am, it is well deserved.

What do your friends call you?
Alex, Allie.

Anyone call you babe lately?
yes.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
Yes. Fuck dying.

What do you want to do with your life in the future?
Not sure. 

What are you listening to right now?
Dexter’s Laboratory. haha

How do you feel about gay marriage?
The fact that “gay marriage” is even an issue is ridiculous.

I did a waterfall braid on myself today. :) It looks so pretty, and my babah is coming over later. <3 

And I’m going to Boston for the summer. I’ll miss him but he told me he understands I want to see my family and that I can trust him. I love him. :) 

The weather would turn to shit the moment I straighten my hair. LOL　

1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Open.

2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
lol nahh

3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Tucked in, but I sleep on top of them. lol I live in Florida, no need for covering myself most of the time.

4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Nope.

5:Do you like to use post-it notes?
Meh.

6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?

No.

7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Oh god … I honestly don’t know and hope neither one of those things happens. lol

8:Do you have freckles?
Yes.

9:Do you always smile for pictures?
Mostly. lol

10:What is your biggest pet peeve?
I can never think of anything when someone asks me this, even though I have many.

11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?

Yeah, sometimes I do.

14:Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing?
hahah yes.

15:Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Sometimes I chew pens.

16:How many people have you slept with this week?
Like literally in a bed sleeping, one. lol

17:What size is your bed?
Twin.

18:What is your Song of the week?
Pffft.

19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Yeah … it’s just a color.

20:Do you still watch cartoons?
Yep.

21:What’s your least favorite movie?
Ugh

22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
I wouldn’t bury it … 

23:What do you drink with dinner?

Juice, water, soda. whatever.

24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

BBQ sauce or sweet and sour sauce or honey mustard mmmm :D

25:What is your favorite food?
So many <3

26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Many.

27:Last person you kissed/kissed you?

Paul.

28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
Nope.

29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
Hmmmm maybe.

30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?

Haha maybe a month ago.

31:Can you change the oil on a car?

No.

32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Nope.

33:Ever ran out of gas?
Sure.

34:Favorite kind of sandwich?

I love many sandwiches :D

35:Best thing to eat for breakfast?

French toast, eggs, bacon :D oh and hashbrowns.

36:What is your usual bedtime?

Hmm depends.

37:Are you lazy?

Yeahh sometimes. 

38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?

Lots of things.

39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?
Monkey.

40:How many languages can you speak?
English … 

41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
No.

42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Legos.

43:Are you stubborn?
Yes.

44:Who is better…Leno or Letterman?
I don’t care. :0

45:Ever watch soap operas?
Not on my own.

46:Are you afraid of heights?
Yes.

47:Do you sing in the car?
Yes.

48:Do you sing in the shower?
Yes.

49:Do you dance in the car?
Yeah.

50:Ever used a gun?
No.

51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Idk high school.

52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Some of them are, but I love them anyway.

53:Is Christmas stressful?
A little bit. 

54:Ever eat a pierogi?
 Yep.

55:Favorite type of fruit pie?
Apple, classic. :) Does pumpkin count as a fruit? If so, then pumpkin pie too.

56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
A singer.

57:Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes.

58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
Yeah.

59:Take a vitamin daily?
Nope.

60:Wear slippers?
No.

61:Wear a bath robe?

No.

62:What do you wear to bed?

Usually just a tshirt.

63:First concert?
I don’t remember.

64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Target.

65:Nike or Adidas?
Nike.

66:Cheetos Or Fritos?
Cheetos! :D

67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Both.

68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
Nope.

69:Ever take dance lessons?

Yep.

70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

Not really.

71:Can you curl your tongue?
Yus.

72:Ever won a spelling bee?
Almost … :’( lol

73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Hmm … no.

74:Own any record albums?
No.

75:Own a record player?
Nope.

76:Regularly burn incense?
No.

77:Ever been in love?
Yes.

78:Who would you like to see in concert?
idk.

79:What was the last concert you saw?
I don’t even know.

80:Hot tea or cold tea?
I like both.

81:Tea or coffee?
Any tea, and ice coffee.

82:Sugar or snickerdoodles?
Snickerdoodles.

83:Can you swim well?
Meh.

84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Yes.

85:Are you patient?
Lol … no!

86:DJ or band, at a wedding?
Band.

87:Ever won a contest?
Hmmm yes.

88:Ever have plastic surgery?

No.

89:Which are better black or green olives?

Black.

90:Can you knit or crochet?
I used to be able to knit, but now I don’t remember how.

91:Best room for a fireplace?
Living room.

92:Do you want to get married?
Maybe some day, yes. :)

93:If married, how long have you been married?
lolololol I’ve been married to chocolate for 19 years. 

94:Who was your HS crush?

Ugh fuck high school.

95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?

No. o.O

96:Do you have kids?
Nope.

97:Do you want kids?

Yes, one day.

98:What’s your favorite color?

Blue.

99:Do you miss anyone right now?

Yeah.

100: What’s your favorite pizza?
Any pizza. :D

I feel like I’ve wasted my whole first year of college. 　

I’ve been looking for this …

and I have finally found it. 

Paul, you make me so happy. I don’t think you understand what you’ve done to me. You’ve made me realize that maybe I have a chance at something better. You’ve made me realize how I can really be happy. And most of all, you’ve made me see that I deserve these things and that I’m good enough. 

Because you treat me like a treasure. You protect me, you listen to me, you laugh with me, you cry with me. You constantly tell me how beautiful I am. You’re never ashamed of me or embarrassed. You hold my hand in public, no matter what. You kiss me when everyone is watching and you just don’t care. 

I never realized how important you would be to me when I first met you. You have become my best friend and an inhabitant of my heart. You have managed to burrow your way under my skin, making me think of you and smile when you’re not even here.

You are like the missing piece of me.

I always want to be with you. 

Do you think you are pregnant?

 Noooooooooo o.o!

You have to get a piercing, what do you get? 

Nose or belly button. 

You have to get a tattoo, where and what do you get?

My back or side, some kind of floral thing. 

When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug?

Yesterday. :)

Plans for tomorrow?

lol

Is anything wrong?

Not really. 

Are your friends taller than you?

lol

What were you doing this morning at 5:30?

I was asleep.

Do you like the ocean?

Yes, but at the same time it’s scary.

Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?

With Paul.

Last person you texted?

Chris.

Do you know anyone named Matt?

Ummmm yeah.

Is your hair curly or straight?

Curlycrazy.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

Yes.

What do you prefer: McDonalds or Hungry Jacks?

How about a nice home cooked meal? :D 

Would you rather go to Ireland or Hawaii?

I’d rather go to both.

Did you have a good birthday this year?

No.

So, you have brown eyes?

Yes.

Who was the last person to text you?

Chris.

The person you like/love runs up and kisses you, what do you do?

Smile and kiss them back.

It’s 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it?

It better be someone important. lol

Do you think your past mistakes made you into a better person?

Yeah.

Are you okay with making a total fool of yourself?

Noooooooo

When was the last time you really laughed?

yesterday.

Do you like Red Bull?

Meh.

Are you happy with life right now?

It’s okay.

Ever done your makeup in class?

Nope.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your neck?

lmao not currently.

How do you feel about smoking?

Smoking weed is nice. 

What’s more important to you: good grades or having fun?

Right now, having fun.

Do you get stressed easily?

Yeah. :/

Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing?

Yes.

Is there a certain person that makes you feel safe?

Yes. :)

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough, you’ll get it?

Yes.

Do you believe ex’s can be friends?

Not anymore. Especially if I loved you, I can’t be friends with you after that.

What would you do if someone told you that you were the most beautiful person in the world and they would do anything to wake up to your face each morning?

I would be very happy.

Is it ever too late to apologize to you?

No.

Where would you rather live, England or Italy?

Italy … no England …. no Italy. lol

What woke you up this morning?

My dream.

Are there any stressful situations in your life?

Yes. 

Are you the type of person who likes to be out or home?

Both.

Do you know how to work a computer well?

Yeah.

If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? 

Maybe.

Is it possible to be single and happy?

Yes.

What were you doing last night at midnight?

Trying to sleep.

You have just chugged a whole bottle of vodka straight, what are you doing?

Trippin lol

You’re insanely drunk stumbling through the streets, slurring songs, who are you with?

Probably my babah

Do you sleep with the door open or closed?

Closed.

Do you drink tea?

Yes.

Have you ever felt so low, you thought you wouldn’t recover?

Yes.

You’re more: sane or insane?

Insane.

Would the world be different without music?

Yeah.

Do you blow dry your hair or let it dry naturally?

Depends on how much of a rush I’m in.

If you’ve had stitches, where on your body were they?

I haven’t. 

Have you ever found something out you wish you hadn’t?

No.

What is “true love” anyway?

When you love someone so much, you’ll do anything for them, and sacrifice anything for their happiness. 

Is there anything you plan on buying soon?

Nope.

Had sex at school?

lol no.

What does the song you’re listening to remind you of?

n/a

How did you get your last bruise?

idk

Have you ever told someone you liked them?

Yeah.

Is there someone who you instantly smile when you receive a message from?

Yes.

Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. 

Not with Paul because he’s at work.

Are you disappointed in anyone?

A little bit. :/

If you are being extremely quiet what does that mean?

I’m mad or upset about something.

What were you doing at 3am this morning?

Asleep.

Will you be driving in a year?

I hope so.

Where is your biological father right now?

I don’t know.

Do you like anyone at the moment?

I love my boyfriend.

How many tattoos would you ever get?

Maybe 2 or 3.

What is the latest you’ve stayed up in the past week?

All night.

Where’s your phone right now?

Next to me.

Have you ever fallen asleep while texting someone?

Yes.

Who was your last missed call from?

An ex. lol

What are you sick of?

Stress.

Are you missing anyone/something?

Paul.

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?

Nope.

If you were going to die in 10 seconds, what would be the last thing you said?

I love all of you. Tell Paul I love him, don’t be sad, don’t give up.

Did you know anybody that has committed suicide?

No.

Who do you go to for advice the most?

Paul. He’s like my best friend. lol

Abusive relationship: leave him/her or keep it a secret?

Leave.

Can money buy happiness?

No, but it can buy comfort.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

No :(

What’s something that can always make you feel better?

My baby

How many people do you 100% trust?

A few.

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

No.

What do you think of guys who have girlfriends but let other girls wear their hoodies?

lol that’s so high school.

Have you ever liked someone that was in a relationship?

Uhhh yeah.

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?

It wouldn’t matter. 

How’s your life lately?

Okay.

Do you think that you’re a good person?

Yes.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

No, but I believe in knowing this person will be important to you … at first sight. lmao

Do you hate the last girl you were texting?

Noooooo

What was on your mind mostly today?

Nothing important.

Do you like winter time?

Yes.

Did you ever lose a best friend?

Yep.

Do you use smiley faces alot on the computer?

kinda.

Has anyone ever crawled through your window?

lol nah

Are you slowly drifting away from someone close?

no.

Five hours ago, were you touching a person of the opposite sex?

No.

Would you spit or swallow?

Gah

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants or pajama pants?

Pajamas.

Are you hungry for anything?

No.

On average, how many times do you hit the snooze button in the morning?

I don’t.

Has anyone gotten on your nerves lately?

Yes.

Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

Yes.

What did you go to bed thinking about last night?

Paul.

How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?:

24.

Have you fixed things with anyone recently?:

No.

Look in your inbox, who’s your last message from?

Idunno.

Think of the last person who hurt you, do you forgive them?:

I just don’t care anymore.

What’s the relationship with you and the last person you kissed?:

My baby, my boyfriend, my husband, my best friend.

How did you meet the last person you kissed?:

Randomly at a bus stop.

Do you currently have feelings for anybody?:

Yes.

What would you do if you saw your significant other kissing someone else?:

i would be pissed and probably cry. I’d be very hurt.

Do you give out second chances too easily?:

Sometimes.

Have you been kissed by someone who’s name starts with a J?:

No.

Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around?:

Yes.

What are you looking forward to this month?

Hopefully working if this job comes through.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a D?:

No.

Do you tend to make things complicated?:

Sometimes.

Would you like a guy/girl who is direct or plays hard to get?

Direct.

Are you happier now or four months ago?:

About the same.

Has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally?:

Yes.

When was the last time you were told you were pretty?:

ermmm probably yesterday.

Do you like your hair?:

Sometimes I love my hair, sometimes I want to shave it all off.

Are you wearing anything that doesn’t belong to you?:

Nope.

What song are you currently listening to?:

Nothing

Do you wake up cranky?:

Sometimes.

Are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you?:

Yes.

How did you meet the last person you texted?:

he’s my boyfriend’s friend.

Do you remember who you liked 4 months ago?:

Paul! :D

What should you be doing right now?

Cleaning my room lol

If you could move somewhere else, would you?

Out of my house? Yes.

Has anyone ever told you they were in love with you?

Yes.

When is the next time you will hug someone?

Dunno.

Are you wearing anything on your feet right now?

Nope.

What are you eating?

Nothing